Theme: Gender Roles
Primary Text: "Modern Family"
Secondary Text: "Wally's Girl"
Intro:
-introduction and explanation of the texts
-thesis: Many would argue that gender roles have come a long way since the show Leave it to Beaver came out, while Modern Family shows that the woman has control of the household.
Modern Family
-in all the families, at least one person stays at home
-each women has control of the household
-the male goes out and works why the women stay at home and run the household
Wally's Girl
-the mom is at home when the father comes home from work
-she is seen in the kitchen with her apron on
-gender role reversed: the girl asks Beaver's older brother to go to the dance with her
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Journal #8
Unnecessary Commas:
"By using a certain point of view, addressing a particular. . . " could be "By using a certain point and addressing a particular. . . "
Apostrophes
". . . certain parts of a persons health care. . " would be " . . .certain parts of a person's health care. . ."
Commas
"Conversely if this story had been written. . ." would be "Conversely, if this story had been written. . ."
". . . want to start my own family I will follow morals my mother. . ." would be ". . . want to start my own family, I will follow morals my mother. . . "
"Also when talking about, "his mother" i guessed. . . " would be ". . . Also when talking about "his mother" I guessed. . ."
"Although I shared he was a "meth baby" very little vital details. . ." would be "Although I shared he was a "meth baby", very little vital details. . .:
"If I were to tell someone this story around the time it happened they would not have been. . . " would be "If I were to tell someone this story around the time it happened, they would not have been. . . "
Clarity: Vary sentence openings
"I am able to give background information on the story but the vital details are left out." could be "The vital details were left out, but I was still able to give some background information."
"Then after analyzing it further, I realized an angry, almost bitter tone." could be "Upon further analyzation, I realized an angry, almost bitter tone."
"The story was centered on a little boy I came into contact with during my short period there." could be "During my short period at the NICU, the boy I came into contact with inspired the story I wrote."
After doing this blog, I realized some things about my essay. The main thing I realized was the organization. Most of my sentences were repetitive in the way I wrote them. I need to change up lengths of sentences and how I start them. I also need to work on relating my paragraphs back to the thesis. I should also make sure I revise my paper closely as I had many comma errors and words that I left out.
"By using a certain point of view, addressing a particular. . . " could be "By using a certain point and addressing a particular. . . "
Apostrophes
". . . certain parts of a persons health care. . " would be " . . .certain parts of a person's health care. . ."
Commas
"Conversely if this story had been written. . ." would be "Conversely, if this story had been written. . ."
". . . want to start my own family I will follow morals my mother. . ." would be ". . . want to start my own family, I will follow morals my mother. . . "
"Also when talking about, "his mother" i guessed. . . " would be ". . . Also when talking about "his mother" I guessed. . ."
"Although I shared he was a "meth baby" very little vital details. . ." would be "Although I shared he was a "meth baby", very little vital details. . .:
"If I were to tell someone this story around the time it happened they would not have been. . . " would be "If I were to tell someone this story around the time it happened, they would not have been. . . "
Clarity: Vary sentence openings
"I am able to give background information on the story but the vital details are left out." could be "The vital details were left out, but I was still able to give some background information."
"Then after analyzing it further, I realized an angry, almost bitter tone." could be "Upon further analyzation, I realized an angry, almost bitter tone."
"The story was centered on a little boy I came into contact with during my short period there." could be "During my short period at the NICU, the boy I came into contact with inspired the story I wrote."
After doing this blog, I realized some things about my essay. The main thing I realized was the organization. Most of my sentences were repetitive in the way I wrote them. I need to change up lengths of sentences and how I start them. I also need to work on relating my paragraphs back to the thesis. I should also make sure I revise my paper closely as I had many comma errors and words that I left out.
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